Marking the One Year Anniversary of George Floyd’s Murder

You must never confuse faith that you will prevail in the end, which you can never afford to lose, with the discipline of confronting the most brutal facts of your current reality, whatever they may be.”

-Jim Stockdale   

Many of us have been under chronic stress for over a year. Our magnificent brains are more built for short-term stress, so in turn, we and our brains do funny things to cope - our memory gets fuzzy and falters; there’s a tendency towards denial and projection; and over time, there oftentimes are “emotional dips” that occur every 2-3 months – temporary periods of feeling quite down and stuck.

I learned this brain research from consultant and writer Kate Sheppard several weeks ago, and have been reflecting upon how I have navigated and continue to navigate these times – coping mechanisms and all  – as a leader, as a parent, and as a human being.

As I often do when I am grappling with hard stuff, I go to our multicultural guidelines as a resource. The one that has particular resonance for me is “Practice self-focus.”  I’ll throw in the adjective, “Practice vigilant self-focus” as I navigate *these times.* The guideline of “practice self-focus” is elemental. Self-focus is a powerful starting point because self-focus invites deep reflection and self-awareness → which is a key departure point for action.

These times of chronic stress are of course associated with the global pandemic - the proximity to illness, the statistics regarding and even experiences with death, fear of the unknown, ambiguous loss, amplified change, and the intense impact on our work and childcare responsibilities.

There is also the chronic stress of magnified oppression layered onto and entwined with our current context. We might be reading about it, we might be witnessing it, and we might be experiencing it. The “it” is varied: feeling invisible, not being heard, being scared for yourself or loved ones, not having your voice honored, or worse, experiencing discrimination firsthand.  

While our country has a history rife with colonialism, devastating oppression, and violence, May 25 marks a significant flashpoint of this magnified oppression, the one-year anniversary of George Floyd’s murder. In my own culture we say to those mourning, “May their memory be eternal.” I must first send up this prayer about this man and his life: May George Floyd’s memory be eternal. And may the memories of those who were unjustly murdered before him, and after, be eternal - for the mere act of being in their own skin.  

When I think of George Floyd, a flood of hard images and complex memories – societal and personal –  come to mind when I consider this sad and tragic anniversary specifically: the scene itself and the minutes that passed; the subsequent peaceful-turned-violent protests on our Los Angeles streets and the streets and boulevards across our country, sounds of incessant helicopters above as constant reminders of the pain people are in and how far our country has to go; me getting George Floyd’s name wrong in my first memo to staff and how far I have to go; my neighbors’ restaurant being completely destroyed in the local looting; the conversations, debates, and controversies surrounding the notion of “defunding police”; and the recent testimonies and the trial and conviction of Derek Chauvin.

Remembering this scope of images and memories associated with May 25, 2020 open up a floodgate of other brutal and challenging incidents and memories of this past school year:

●      A recent stream of Anti-Semitic attacks and Jewish hate crimes, one in our West Hollywood backyard, with hateful and abhorrent slurs being shouted

●      A rise in anti-Asian violence and tragedies associated with lies and misinformation perpetuated by our very leaders

●      An increase in gun violence and mass shootings, including schools

●      The complete lack of prioritization – again and again – of children and education in our society during COVID-19

●      All that led up to our contentious presidential election which was marked by vitriolic communication and subsequent conspiracy theories that continue to fuel hate and harm

It is a lot.

So I invite us to go to self-focus again. If I’m doing the work I need to do to dismantle oppression, “discomfort is default.” I know I must not minimize nor deny the political significance of racism and oppression. There is a great cost of oppression on people who have historically been and continue to be oppressed: psychological, emotional, mental, physical, and economic impact. I must stay hypervigilant with this awareness and pursue ways, as a white woman, I must decenter whiteness. I must stay in my discomfort.

I must also seek connection and commonality in our polarized context. I must seek people’s humanity. I remember a conversation with a parent of Jewish descent who made a meeting with me two falls ago – their first – to share impact of the Tree of Life Synagogue shooting and share pieces of their identity with me. Their reflection and storytelling brought out differences between our lived experiences and also brought out powerful connections and commonalities. I invite us into this kind of storytelling and sharing. We need to do it.

This connection seeking isn’t soft! Stephen Freeman writes, “Approach others with deep respect and wonder – it will often be the foundation for love.” A foundation of truth-telling, storytelling, and love are essential to our work as members of Westland’s community. I am a bit weary when I think about how the world perceives those who seek truth and love - that it’s not strong enough for what these times demand. I am going to do it anyway. Finding connection and commonality is a radical act right now, because there are messages flooding us with polarization and competition. We can demand better, work harder towards a more just society, and be patient with ourselves and others as we lean in and as we learn. Our school mission states it plainly: “...that the school has an important commitment to the world around us.” So I firmly state here:

●      Westland is a school that believes that diversity makes us smarter. Cognitive and identity diversity benefits us all.

●      Westland is a school that strives for equity and inclusion. We will create and work on systems as well as analyze and tune culture so that all people know that they belong.

●      Westland actively stands up - and will continue to stand up – against all forms of racism, anti-semitism, homophobia, sexism, and other systems of oppression and hate that perpetuate false messages that some groups are “better than” and other groups are “less than.”

As I think about this work, I also think about our work with children. Our integrated social studies-based curriculum fosters in children critical and creative thinking and the knowledge that they themselves are empowered citizens who know that they can make their communities better. Social studies, the study of people and place, is an ideal approach to raise children who are forever curious, caring, and committed to serving the common good. Westland children become adults and neighbors who seek to understand the threads drawn from history to the present day, a respect for nuance, and the habit of exploring multiple perspectives before forming an opinion. Westland children are collaborative and know the power of what happens when a group gets together to do good work.

Going to the epigraph at the top, I wonder, what does “prevailing in the end” actually mean when we think about the state of our world and how far we have to go? Perhaps prevailing in the end is committing to our children that we will continue to try to make this world a better place by working on ourselves. Prevailing in the end is perhaps being in process. It’s modeling respectful disagreement! It’s staying in each other’s impact. It’s leaning into the discomfort of acknowledging what is indeed in front of our very eyes. It’s keeping the faith though too, showing love, decency, and respect towards one another.

As we mark this year, let’s commit to our children and model to them active citizenry, volunteership, and kindness. We’ll continue to be brave and celebrate differences and utilize our differences. We’ll come together too in our shared humanity – in story, friendship, and song – where we sing aloud every week: 

“None alone we need each other

Join us in our work and play.

 We can share this world together and look towards a better day.”